Smear

Players and equipment

Two to six players, best at four in two fixed partnerships sitting across from each other. A standard 52-card deck, with two jokers sometimes added as extra trumps — many tables play the plain game without them, and both ways are covered below. Smear belongs to the All Fours family, the same group as Pitch and Setback, and in some places it goes by the name Schmier instead.

The deal

Nine cards to each player, dealt one at a time. Whatever is left over is set aside face down and takes no part in the hand.

Bidding goes once around the table, starting on the dealer's left. Each bid is a number from two to four — how many of the four points your side expects to take — and must beat the bid before it, or you pass. If everybody passes, the same dealer deals again.

Whoever bid highest names the trump suit. Every player, the dealer included, then discards three cards face down and plays the hand with the six that are left. Nobody may discard a trump unless they hold more than six of them.

Play

The high bidder leads to the first trick. Follow suit if you can. If you cannot follow suit you may play a trump or any other card — and in the common version you may trump even when you hold the suit led, there is no rule against it. The highest card of the suit led wins the trick, unless it was trumped, in which case the highest trump wins. Keep leading from whoever won the last trick until the hand runs out.

Scoring

There are four points up for grabs each hand, and the bidding side's own bid decides what happens to them.

High

1

the ace of trumps, to whoever plays it

Low

1

the two of trumps, to whoever plays it

Jack

1

the trick that holds the trump jack

Game

1

the side with more card points in its own tricks

Card points toward Game: ace 4, king 3, queen 2, jack 1, ten 10 — aces, court cards and tens only, everything else is worth nothing toward it. If both sides tie on card points, nobody scores Game that hand.

SquareScores deals no cards and sees none of the play — a round on the sheet is one hand of Smear, worked out and entered by hand once the hand is over. Once every trick is played, work out the four points between the two sides and enter your side's score for the hand. If the bidding side took at least as many points as they bid, write down every point they actually made. If they fell short, the sheet still only takes whole numbers from 0 up, so enter 0 for the bidding side that hand, and keep the amount they bid noted on paper or in a side column of your own, and take it off that side's next points until it is paid — the rule is that a missed bid costs its full amount, and the sheet carries no negative line to do it for you. The side that did not bid always writes down whatever points it actually made, whether or not the bid was made. The line on the sheet is the target score, and End match banks the match for whichever side is sitting at or past it — End match is any player's to tap, not kept back for the bidder alone.

A worked hand

Four players, partnerships of Sam-and-Alex against Mum-and-Dad. Dad bids 3 and names spades trump. Over the hand, Sam's side plays the ace of spades for High, and the jack of spades falls in a trick Mum's side wins, so Jack goes to Mum-and-Dad too. Nobody plays the two of spades, so Low is not won by anybody. Counting up the cards each side actually took in tricks, Mum-and-Dad hold 27 card points to Sam-and-Alex's 19, so Mum-and-Dad also take Game.

Sam-and-Alex

1

High

Mum-and-Dad

2

Jack and Game

Dad's side bid 3 and made only 2, so they go down as 0 for the hand with their 3-point bid owed against their next points; Sam-and-Alex were not the bidders, so their 1 point stands as it was made. What goes on the sheet for the hand is the entry, not the points made:

Sam-and-Alex

1

entered

Mum-and-Dad

0

entered, bid missed

Ending

Play on, hand after hand, until a side reaches the target on the sheet. If both sides reach the target on the same hand, the bidding side wins. A side that has crossed it can bank the match through End match, which any member of either side may tap. A match can also be struck rather than banked, if the table breaks up partway through.

Bid what your hand can make, not what you want it to be worth

The whole risk sits in the bid: make it and you keep every point you took, miss it and you are held to zero for the hand with the whole bid still owed on top. A hand with two sure trumps and a long off-suit is worth a careful bid of 2, not a hopeful 4. New players lose more hands to their own overbidding than to anything the other side does to them.

The deuce scores itself — the jack is the one to protect

Every one of the six cards left after the discard gets played, so whoever is dealt the two of trumps keeps it and scores Low the moment it falls, with nothing to manage and nothing the other side can do about it — it carries no card points toward Game either, so there is no cost to playing it early. The jack is different: Jack goes to whichever side wins the trick it falls in, not to whoever holds it, so a jack led into an empty trick can hand the point straight to the other side. Hold it until you can play it on a trick your own side is already winning.

Watch for the tens

A ten is worth as much toward Game as an ace, and far easier to lose track of because it looks like a small card sitting among the court cards. Four tens loose among forty-eight other cards decide more Game points over a sitting than anything else in the pack — count them as they fall, not just the aces and kings.

The ace is yours the moment you play it

The ace of trumps scores High whenever you play it, but the jack scores only for the side that wins its trick — lead the ace early to draw trumps and keep the jack from being captured.

Help your partner's bid, not your own hand

Once your partner has won the bid, your discards and your play are about making their number, not about building the best hand for yourself. A card that does nothing for your own hand but denies the other side a point for Game is worth more than a card you simply like holding.

Playing with jokers

Add one or two jokers to the pack as extra trumps, ranking below the jack and above the ten, each worth a point to whichever side wins the trick it falls in. Some tables that add jokers also add a point for the jick — the other jack of the trump suit's colour, counted as a trump of its own and ranking just under the true trump jack. Agree before the deal how many extra points are in play, and raise the target to suit: a six-point hand needs a longer race than a four-point one.

Six-handed Smear

Two teams of three, seated alternately round the table, with six cards dealt to each player and the rest left over for the dealer until the winning bidder names trump. This version adds one joker and counts the left bower (the other jack of the trump colour), each a point to the side that takes it, so there are six points a hand and bids run from 3 to 6 instead of 2 to 4.

No trumping while holding the suit led

Some tables, especially the ones who learned the game under the name Schmier, forbid trumping a trick you could have followed suit to — you may only trump when you hold no card of the suit led at all. It slows the bidding side down and makes a strong trump hand less of a sure thing.

Cutthroat, for two or three

Played without any partnerships, everyone for themselves, usually to a lower target since there is nobody to share the bid's risk with. A missed bid stings harder at a table for one than it does split between two partners.

How many cards are dealt in Smear?

Nine to each of four players; once trump is named, everyone discards three and plays with six, and the cards left over after the deal stay out of play. A six-handed table deals six each instead, with the rest left over the same way.

Can you trump even when you could follow suit in Smear?

Yes, in the common version — you may play a trump on any trick, whether or not you could have followed the suit that was led. Some tables, often the ones calling the game Schmier, play the stricter rule that you may only trump when you hold no card of the suit led. Agree which way your table plays before the first bid goes round.

What happens if the bidding side misses its bid in Smear?

They lose the amount they bid: a side that bid 4 and made only 2 scores nothing for its 2 and has 4 taken off its total. The other side still scores whatever it actually took that hand, bid or no bid.

Do jokers always play in Smear?

No. The plain four-point game — high, low, jack and game — needs no jokers at all. Adding one or two as extra trumps, each worth its own point, is a common house rule rather than something every table plays.

How do you win Smear?

Your side's bid tells you what you are chasing on any one hand, but the match itself is won by whichever side first reaches the table's agreed target, however many hands it takes to get there.